No matter how well you think you're getting along with the residents, registrars and consultants, ALWAYS remember to keep the line that separates you from them in mind. Is what I say going to reflect poorly on me?

1) I must not let my emotions overcome reason. n.b. this does not mean I should not express emotion..
2) If I do get upset over something, I must ask myself "is this something worth getting upset over?" i.e. Will anything improve by me getting upset?
3) If it is worth becoming upset about, I must gather all the pertinent facts before making a claim...

I never quite know whether this is a blog, a journal or something in between.. I guess ultimately it's all journaling

This week's Radio National's All in the mind is all about "Shadenfreude", the pleasure we take from the misfortune of others. At least it was one person, John Portmann's perspective of such pleasure. He has written a book about the concept called "When bad things happen to other people". Here is a review of the book from Salon.com.

On the basis of what John Portmann was saying on RN, he conveyed Shadenfreude as a benign or passive expression of this pleasure. So it seems he he understates the significance of this concept to an almost dangerous degree. To explain the concept he uses everyday examples such as stand-up comedy or the pleasure associated with the punishment of a convicted criminal. He also argues that this Shadenfreude underlies aspects of our sense of humour and without this perverse pleasure our sense of fun would be lost.

But these examples are one end of the spectrum and perhaps with a little thought, betray the insidious nature of Shadenfreude. However passive, a person's pleasure in the demise of a few Palestinians, Jews, Americans or Asians, could also be viewed as Shadenfreude and not only the nasty expression of racism. It could also hide an unhealthy hubris or even a sense of bigotted nationalism. It could be viewed that we express pleasure in the demise of another nation, because we believe our own nation to be the greatest and therefore the downfall of another nation only helps to reinforce our delusion and protect our narrow view of the world.

John Portmann also raises aspects of competitive sport as a manifestation of Shadenfreude. Competitive sport is seen to be a healthy activity in our society but could also be seen to be quite destructive. Amateurism and it's virtues, are slowly disappearing from the sports ground. We are moving toward the end of the spectrum where we don't value the efforts of the individual because of their commitment and integrity, only when they win. It's almost as though when they lose we also lose and feel this sense of failure in ourselves. When we win, we celebrate our superiority and part of that celebration is to feel pleasure at the loss of the oppostion, a pleasure that may be more than just our win. Now this is a rather severe interpretation but I think serves to show the extent to which Shadenfreude, when unquestioned, can undermine seemingly goodnatured competition.

If Shadenfreude is a guilty pleasure, as Natasha Mitchell ( All in the Mind presenter ) states, I think there is a reason for this guilt. Shadenfreude can belie a lack of understanding, intolerance and an unpreparedness to develop empathy for those around us. It's mere acceptance as a benign and passive manifestation is one more step towards the ugliest spectral end of the expression of humanity.

Ofcourse none of us are free of Shadenfreude. By example, I live on an the corner of a T-intersection. There is a sweeping slip lane which appears to be great for "hoons" to scream around the corner. Well actually Townsville appears to be hoon-central and so often people will sit at the lights of the intersection, revving their engines and attempting to make as much noise as possible as they round the corner. Particularly our friends of the Harley-Davidson persuasion. Now as they sit there inflicting their contempt for anybody with intact hearing on anyone within a radius of ten kilometres, I sit there thinking about the pleasure I'd get out of their motorcycles sliding out from under them transfiguring them into bloody pulpy masses as they grind along the hard gritty ashphalt. As I sit there thinking of the pleasure of shoving a hoon's noise amplifying muffler up their respective arse, I take a step back. Why does this transient annoyance develop such thoughts of Shadenfreude? A sense of justice? Sure justice as far as I'm concerned but as for the society as a whole aren't I denying them their identity? The way they see themselves? Perhaps they need to exert this tangible influence on their world so they feel they can have some impact upon it, out of the frustration of their impotence and disenfranchisement by the power-brokers in society. This is one view ofcourse but perhaps even if it is a misinterpretation, it's a step towards empathy in opposition to intolerance.

It isn't good enough to recognise the pleasure and think "Oh that's okay, it's just Shadenfreude", it is necessary to question it. John Portmann's view of the benign nature of Shadenfreude trivialises that pleasure's insidious nature and it is right to be suspicious of it.

This week a few friends, Andrew, Eugenie and Michael, received a bit of media attention associated with the Intenational Blog meetup day. Which is good because "they do great work". But there was a touch of regret that I couldn't be down there also. The blog community, well the bloggers I know, are a warm and inviting bunch. I guess the meetup thing made me realise how much I miss those guys and the culture which doesn't seem to exist where I am.

There seems to be an acceptance of that kind pensive culture in Melbourne and it is one of the scenes in which I feel at home. Of the bloggers I know there is a certainty integrity associated with valuing the content without losing a sense of the aesthetic. Though the aesthetic is less important than the message, the format is important in conveying the message. Though admittedly it is the friends more than the culture.

So what was I doing instead? Despite the fear of sounding like a martyr, I'll tell you. Medicine appears to be my life, either in the actual doing or supporting it. The surgeons gave us a few tips today about this very point. One of the surgeons mentioned that one day he just noticed that his family had grown up and he hadn't been there. Medicine seemed to have created a vortex sucking every aspect of life in to it. One of the cardiothoracic guys even went to the extent of saying that his first mistake in making life choices was graduating from medicine. His second mistake was specialising. Though it must be said that this was tongue in cheek. He does in fact love his work and I can see why:

On Wednesday, I held a beating human heart in my hand. Now up until this point I'd viewed the whole surgical process from an almost inhuman technical perspective. Sure it was obvious that we were operating on a person and that we were doing this to improve their quality of life. But it was more from the perspective of the complications and consequences of the operative procedure that their quality of life was viewed. The thought of holding a person's life in my hands had eluded me until Wednesday. And associated with this were feelings of nausea as the chest was being opened through to utter awe, with heart in hand. In a way you can understand how surgeons may develop a God complex. There was a certain sense of power associated with the process. Ofcourse, this also presents a danger in over-estimating your abilities. It's such a fine balance.

Hopefully the above doesn't sound conceited. I'm finding it a bit difficult to adequately explain the process and make it appreciable. I also hope I'm not losing myself in the whole process...